Where to begin! Well I am always one to be honest with my readers, partially because I feel like no one really reads this blog so its more like a journal and I am just being honest with myself. When we decided to do invitro it was for two reasons. One, I already have major infertility issues and I had to do IUI (artificial insemination) to get prego with my sweet Scarlett. And two, I didn’t want to risk having another PKU baby. Now this is the thing, I know we are so blessed to have Scarlett and she is wonderful just as she is but here is my being honest, I don’t think I could mentally handle another child with special needs. I had serious anxiety and depression after having her and it was so hard on our family I didn’t think I would make it through at times. Which reminds me of my sweet sister-in-laws company and youtube channel for women who suffer with these same issues. She’s just getting started so if you want to reach out and offer topics and whatnot for her to address on her youtube I’m sure she would love that.
As we considered our future family and marriage, we decided to start invitro. We really had no idea what we were getting into. I think everyone says that when they look back on it and it is definitely not for the faint of heart. The best part is we aren’t even finished yet! I think I see the end of the tunnel being only two weeks away from implantation so I feel like I can finally vent about it.
Emotional/Mental: This was/is the hardest part of the whole thing for me. The hormones may completely change your personality. I have said and done things I would never do in “real life”. It almost feels like an outer body experience where you have no control over yourself and you just can’t stop raging! My solution to this is a few things: Don’t be afraid to hide out from the world for a while. The biggest thing that would set me off was people. Being around anyone causes stress and stress is what is really hard to handle while on the meds. I still did things with close friends and family but I didn’t want to be around people that I might just say something I shouldn’t to. The next thing I would reccomend is to talk to your spouse and express how you feel and set up a plan for when you feel irritable. Tyler knew that I just needed to be alone and take a deep breath and go work or sit in the tub or drive around when I felt angry or upset. Having this understanding between us helped smooth over the rough times. EVERYONE I have talked to that has gone through the hormones has said it affected their marriage. This is a time where expectations of each other need to be lowered and survival is key. Go back to the simple tasks of the day. Avoid busy schedules and situations that cause stress.
Financial: This was a HUGE shock. For our Invitro with genetic testing it will cost around 33+ thousand dollars. We had planned about 25k but literally nothing is included in your base cost which is about 12k. Be prepared to pay for water ultrasounds, all of your meds, anesthesia, blood test, and the biggest cost is the genetic testing of about 15k on top of the base cost. Tyler and I have had several friends do the same thing so we were saving up for it but it still shocks the crap out of ya when you start paying huge portions at once. Draaaaaiiiinnnn. “Beans and rice, rice and beans” – Dave Ramsey
The Shots: The shots were scary for me every single time but I survived! I seriously give myself a treat everytime I do a shot. I come out of the bathroom with a my arms cheering cause I’m so dang proud. No joke I really do! The pain is very minimal at least to me but the fear is what always gets me. If you are thiking you can’t do it yourself, have your spouse administer the shots, they are less scary when you can’t see them coming.
After submitting 18 embryos to genetic testing we came back with 4 completely healthy babies and 1 carrier, which can still be implanted because they aren’t actually infected with the disease. Tyler and I are both carriers which is why Scarlett was born with PKU. We are so lucky to have some healthy embryos and can’t wait to try and get pregnant. God is watching out for us every step of the way and I know if it takes all 5 embryos to get a sweet baby than it is sooo worth it. Feel free to send me DM’s on my instagram with questions if you are considering doing this. Being prepared is the key to making it through this. @kirstenkizerian
BE BRAVE, YOU CAN DO IT!
